they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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