it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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