I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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