How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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