yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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