Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
