where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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