this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
