white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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