no, he came in my armpit
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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