very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
