does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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