I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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