Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
