I have demons in me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
