Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
