I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
