Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm like, not good at living.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
