Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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