i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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