He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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