when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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