he wants to bone in the snuggie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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