stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
