It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
