I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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