if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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