It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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