Your dad touched me again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
