I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
