Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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