Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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