omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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