Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize