Whod you bang
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
