Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
