put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
