I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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