Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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