she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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