I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
