No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize