He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
