If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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