u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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