i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize