hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize