you would pick up someone in the library
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
