you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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