Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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