the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
do herpes really smell.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
