Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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