We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
