I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
