the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
