it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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