she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
