I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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