So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
