i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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