Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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